what is omgwow.com

Yup. you all suck cock, HOLY SHIT IT'S A LOAD OF FLAMES! It don't matter no more, I'm immune.

You're in the Hall of the Stargate! Your party memebers consist of the NYPD forces, Zombie Aeris, Wallace and Gromit, The Wrong Trousers, Captain Obvious, Jimmy Neutron, Angus Young, Dopefish, The Magic School Bus, Babe Ruth, Lumpy the Heffalump, Tigger, Homer Simpson, Herbie the Love Bug, Princess Peach, Spider-Man, Calvin and Hobbes, Spongebob Squarepants and Patrick Star. As more Xenomorph hordes rush in from their forsaken dimension to replace their fallen comrades, you notice that the NYPD forces holding them off are dwindling. You and your party members don't have much time left to destroy the Unobtanium Crystal!

Zombie Aeris cries "What are you doing? I told you to use it already!" and casts curaja, returning your HP to max. "There's no time to waste!" she shouts, as attack squadrons of Clinjas drop from the ceiling, throwing balloon animals at your party. Grues swarm from behind the masses of dead sheep as Wallace and Gromit gear up their shotguns and launch round after round at Eurgs that have joined forces with hordes of giant flying stingrays. The Wrong Trousers charge into the frenzy, taking out hordes of penguins and even trampling a Bandersnatch in the process. Why is it that you suddenly hear Green Day music pounding into your head?

Captain Obvious obviously fires round after round of extreme sarcasm at the hordes of grues attacking him, which explode as they collide with eurgs. Nuclear explosions shake the Hall of the Stargate as the bloodbath continues. Looking beside you, you see the unconcious form of Jimmy Neutron as grues begin to feast on him. Optimus Prime switches his hand for that bad-ass laser sword and uses it to violently dispose of Bonecrusher (again).

> Wait a second, Bonecrusher died in the last movie on the highway! What have you been huffing?

Well, I am the narrartor and what I say goes. So shut up and live it.

> Fine.

Meanwhile Angus Young begins to play a kickass guitar solo for no apparent reason.

In a last, desperate attempt, your friend and ally Dopefish tries to keep the intelligence temporarily granted him in 5 pages ago, but instead swims away and eats something. The Magic School Bus turns into a WOMD and creates a magic mushroom cloud. A pig dies in the explosion.

> mourn

But you have no time to mourn, for Dr. Fu Manchu, taking advantage of your inactivity, throws another flurry of shuriken, narrowly missing you but wounding Babe Ruth for 48 damage. Lumpy the Heffalump suddenly charges into battle, narrowly missing the attacks of a crazed tank engine and is suddenly mortally wounded by extreme sarcasm. Tigger follows on his heels, as he pulls out his assault rifle and plasma rifle (dual-wielded). Homer Simpson just leaves and has a drink. Ironhide and Bumblebee use Doubleteam to revive Pikachu and Squidward, who charge towards Hitler and Roley the Steamroller, resulting in the latest giant explosions.

But the tables soon turn as Santa Claus, having taken control of Herbie the Love Bug, runs over Princess Peach and Spider-Man, mortally wounding the two strongest members of your party. Peach tries to use Group Hug, but since that move only existed in Super Mario RPG, she instead does nothing. Starscream and a kangaroo smack into her, as her corpse fades into nonexistence. Bumblebee gets pissed and shoots Herbie. Herbie a splodes. Before Dopefish can eat a satanic moose, a misfired shot from Harry Potter's shotgun ends his life quickly. You feel despair overtake you.

Behind you you see Calvin and Hobbes with Spongebob Squarepants, next to Spongebob is his friend Patrick and all of them are equipped with lightsabers, sword-chucks, AK-47s, and traffic cones. As they fight giant anime robots, they are all killed by your mom.

What the fuck are you going to do now?

> inv

You have a brass lantern (providing light), the light cannon, a can of compressed air, a tattoo reading "SWEET" on your upper back (added while drunk), a Ring of Self-esteem, the Kerrek's Belt (being worn), a batch of grumblecakes, half of a grilled cheese sandwitch (being eaten), a Babelfish (in left ear), a sultana, a keychain, a gorilla suit (being worn), the G-string of Aphrodite (being worn), the Stone of Triumph (shackled to leg), a monkey's paw (no wishes remaining), the Pot of Gold, the Autobot Matrix of Leadership (unopened), the Beautiful Painting, the Brass Bauble, the Egyptian Sceptre, the Wrath of the Black Manta (being wrought), the Solid Gold Coffin, the soul of an orphan, the Trunk of jewels, the Crystal trident, the Jade figurine, the Sapphire bracelet (being worn), a fire extinguisher, the USS Saratoga, a Heffalump, the Huge diamond, the Bag of coins, the oddly shaped pebbles you found, a Archeoptyrex fossil (found in Germany) the Crystal skull, the Jeweled scarab, the Large emerald, the unobtainable jewel (obtained), the Silver chalice, the Jewel-encrusted egg, the Clockwork canary, Mutton-Chops (being worn), the second biggest monkey head you've ever seen, the Platinum Utility Ladder, the Sword that is Still Broken, the Ivory torch (also providing light), and the +250 elven elfin slaxe-chucks of great antiquity (weapon in hand). Oh yeah, you also have a stick of gum.
what do you do?

ummm... what the heck is going on?
pronounce xyzzy
Uhm... oww! My stomach! The pain, the unrelenting PAIN!!
Kill the Xenomorph with the slaxe-chucks
Scream!

A-oh, damn!

RICKROLL TOPICS ARE FUNNY! ESPECIALLY THIS RICKROLL!

I made a thread of this too.

January 26th, 2005
Went to work today.
Took a shit in the boss' file cabinet.
It had remnants of last night's chili.
Red clumps of bean.
Kinda runny, but felt great.

January 27th, 2005
I fucked my fist today.
Dad told me it would be like this.
It was hard pushing my dick in after rigormortis set in.

January 28th, 2005
Dad visited today.
He was my second.

January 29th, 2005
Took a shit in the toilet today.
It hurt a bit, looked like rocky road ice cream.
Noticed a wet hand print on the mirror.

January 30th, 2005
Mom visited today.
She's having sex with dad.
I caved her head in with a hammer.
Dad's beginning to stink.

February 1st, 2005
Ate Dad for lunch.
Mom was dinner.
Took another shit in the toilet.
Another handprint on the mirror.
January 26th, 2005
Went to work today.
Took a shit in the boss' file cabinet.
It had remnants of last night's chilli.
Red clumps of bean.
Kinda runny, but felt great.

January 27th, 2005
I fucked my fist today.
Dad told me it would be like this.
It was hard pushing my dick in after rigormortis set in.

January 28th, 2005
Dad visited today.
He was my second.

January 29th, 2005
Took a shit in the toilet today.
It hurt a bit, looked like rocky road ice cream.
Noticed a wet hand print on the mirror.

January 30th, 2005
Mom visited today.
She's having sex with dad.
I caved her head in with a hammer.
Dad's beginning to stink.

February 1st, 2005
Ate Dad for lunch.
Mom was dinner.
Took another shit in the toilet.

February 2nd
Fuck that toilet...it's scaring me now.
The hand prints are annoying.
Shitting hurts more now.

February 3rd
A man came out the shower and hit me with my own hammer.
He wanted to hold hands.
I wouldn't because they where too wet.

February 4th
The apartment it starting to stink.
I'm hungry.
Hope the neighbors don't notice.
Tried ejaculating into the ice cube tray.

February 5th
Shot pool with some guys after work.
Got home and played Monopoly with what was left of Mom.
No hand print.

February 6th, 2005
Didn't go to work today, felt sick.
Could be the smell of Mom and Dad.
Might also be because I never flush the toilet.
The wet hand print was on my computer screen

February 7th
Made breakfast out of what was in the toilet.
Looked like old milk, bacon and Pepsi.
Tasted like Sarah from work.

February 8th
Sarah came over today.
She didn't stay long.
Kept complaining about a strange smell.
I think she's fucking wet hand man.

February 9th, 2005
Kidnapped and raped Sarah from work.
Wet hand man watched.

February 10th, 2005
Nothing important happened today.

February 11th, 2005
Again, uneventful.

February 12th, 2005
Work called.
Asked why I haven't been coming in.
I told them I'm coming in all the time, they just don't see me.

February 13th
Put Sarah in the closet.
Wet hand man has begun reading me stories.
He likes to sleep under the bed now.

February 14th
Sarah watched me fuck Mom and Dad.
Haven't shit in a few days.
Bought some Febreeze.
Toilet smells better now.

February 15th, 2005
Mom pointed out that I left out the year on my last two entries.
Wet hand man didn't read me a story.

February 16th, 2005
Sarah is starting to like the closet.
Wet hand man read "The big bad wolf".

February 17th, 2005
Wet hand man and I went to Home Depot today.
Only thing interesting there was an old lady wearing tight spandex pants.
Her camel toe looked like it had 3 humps.
3 humps.
3.

January 18th, 2005
Found a poem outside my apartment door today:

"Daddy, daddy where did you go?
Inside of me so evil will grow.
Mommy, mommy where are you?
Inside of me, now there are two.

Little box, little box
At the edge of my bed
Little box, little box
Keeper of my mommy's head

Little man, little man
Hiding under the bed
Little man, little man
Keeper of my daddy's head

Nobody is in the closet you say?
The little boy wants to play
Nobody is in the closet you say?
Mommy, daddy, can I play?"

bbbeeeeebebebeb

dadada!

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